what every young person should know

Gilbert Seifert What every young person should know
By Carmack Kersey/Edward Jones
June 30, 2009

Editor’s note: Carmack Kersey of Winchester recently shared the following advice with the 2009 graduating class of Williamsburg High School. None of these, he said, are his own.


Over the years, we all have heard, read or been witness to things we wished we had known beforehand. Today, I would like to go over some thoughts we all hope and pray our children and grandchildren know before they leave home — or heck, they might come back.

First, life isn’t fair. Get over it and go on. They should know their parents did not prepare them for every conceivable situation.

They should know, just because things get difficult doesn’t mean that God is on vacation.

They should know things are rarely as good or bad as they seem.

They should know victims are never happy.

They should know everybody has bad days, when the toilets back up, their dog bites them. It doesn’t mean God is picking on them.

They should know they’ve worked hard to get where they are-whether it was making good grades or just sleeping on the couch each day.

They should know life isn’t about avoiding struggles, but about overcoming them.

They should know overcoming difficult times is how people gain self-respect and the respect of others.

They should know if they make one person’s life easier today, God will be pleased with their efforts. They should start with their mom.

In five years, they won’t be the same person they are today. They could earn a college degree, feed the hungry in Africa, or defend their country. They should know the difference between childhood and adulthood is that in adulthood, they can’t give up!

They should know self-discipline is a major key to solving life’s problems.

“Overnight successes” have often worked 20 years to become one.

They should know the power of habits. Some of you may remember the first two weeks of high school football practice in July. The three-hour workouts in what seemed to be 100-degree temperatures were horrible, but as each day passed, the pain would lessen and after three to four weeks, the transformation of being in “football shape” would happen.

Bad habits are easy to keep. That is why they are bad. Good habits, on the other hand, can cause physical and mental pain that can be grueling. A good habit starts with courage, ends with discipline and is fueled by desire.

They should know if they hang out with heavy drinkers, drug users and partyers, it is a sure-fire way to start thinking like a heavy drinker, druggie or partyer. On the other hand, having to pass up partying with friends to work later doesn’t mean life has turned bad.

They should know being drunk or high is no excuse for bad behavior.

Successful people do things others don’t like to do — like be organized. They keep up with what’s going on in the world. They do not show up for work or class exhausted, hung over, and begging for an aspirin. They show up for class or work clear-eyed and alert.

They should know if it is worth it they will have to work for it!

College and graduate school are hard, time-consuming, and just warm-ups for life. If getting a good job was easy, everyone would have one.

They should know to show up on time for class, work, interviews and for relationships.

They should know the way they dress at 8 p.m. can make them look irresponsible at 8 a.m. Many professors in college and bosses would prefer not to see their tattoos or nose rings.

They should know the world is filled with unreasonable people and they may work for one of them or be taught by one.

Also, they should consider that “yes,” as impossible as it may seem, could be wrong!

They should know it’s impossible to learn everything while talking.

The quickest way to make a friend is to get that person to talk about themselves. The quickest way to get rid of a crowd of people is to talk about themselves.

Also, if they don’t know what they are talking about, stay silent. It is better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

They should know that boasting makes people wonder what is really wrong with them.

They should know how to carry on a conversation without using profanity.

They should also know how to defend their position without yelling, swearing, or door slamming. It’s a real bonus if they know what they are talking about.

In fact, they should know the meaning of words before confidently using them in conversation. They should know if they listen more than they talk, people will think of them as a good conversationalist.

They should know good manners so they will stun people. This can lead to favors, promotions and other benefits in return.

They should know sending hand written “thank you notes” will make them stand out.

They should know that in order to achieve their dreams, they have to have passion, commitment and enthusiasm. Think of those teachers whom you have had that you admire.

Success is not a given, it is something that is earned. Those who are successful have many different characteristics, but they all have a passion for what they are doing, a commitment to staying with it and an enthusiasm for doing it.

They should know a high school graduate will make 25 cents for every dollar a college graduate makes over a 30-year career; a college graduate will make $2 million more than a high school graduate alone.

They should know sacrifice.

They should know that only they are in control of their future, no one else is.

They are going to be challenged with an ethical decision along the way. Deep down, they know the difference between right and wrong. But sometimes it takes more courage to do the right thing. Remember, they should always do the right thing. What is right is not always popular, but what is popular is not always right.

They should know if they are doing anything on the Internet at 3 a.m., they might have a problem. Facebook can wait.

They should know if they’re screaming and yelling at people while driving, priorities have taken a left turn.

They should know how to function in a world that couldn’t care less whether they make it in life or not. Because of this, they should also eradicate any sense of entitlement.

They should know how to face problems as they happen, not put them off until they are unmanageable. They should not be afraid to make a decision. And once their decision is made, stick to it. Don’t be afraid.

They should know that reading a newspaper, belonging to church, a voting for a president and identifying with a political party are all signs of adulthood.

They should know that no job, relationship or situation ever goes according to expectations. Expect to be surprised.

They should know the ability to earn respect is what separates the adults for the kids. Maturity is the ability to determine future consequences before making a decision.

They should realize failure can lead to maturity.

They should know one of the worst things an adult can be labeled is immature.

They should know to not fear criticism. It’s a part of life.

They should know to go to every wedding they are invited to. It is a key to building and honoring lifelong relationships. One of the most important relationships they have is the one with their family and friends. Because of this, they should know to never miss a funeral of a friend or a friend’s family.

They should know adults have to answer only to themselves and God.

They should know if they focus on what’s bad, the day will go down the toilet.

They should know they can make it without their parents. In saying this, remember to look forward, not homeward.

They should know to never forget God isn’t finished shaping them.

They should know what government agency is in charge of what. If they call City Hall about their income tax return, they’ll be hung up on.

They should know to read the Bible before they argue about it.

They should know to marry character!

They should know that seeking perfection in a mate will assure them of a lifetime of loneliness and disappointment.

They should know successful relationships are based on common values, shared morals and good old-fashioned commitment.

They should know that volunteering cures loneliness.

They should know to get their teeth examined regularly. All kinds of activities are going on in their mouth.

They should know most of the world’s truly successful people wake up before everyone else.

They should know the ability to eat 16 times a day and nap all afternoon without gaining any weight will disappear soon. This is what happened to their parents.

They should know a 15-year mortgage will save them a fortune compared to a 30-year mortgage.

They should know easy money usually results in hard times.

They should know to not let their sense of entitlement get in the way of their values.

They should know the poor are made in God’s image as well as the rich. And he has written down specific instructions about the way they are to be treated.

They should know saying “Jesus Christ” has two different meanings —God prefers one not the other.

They should know that doing the right thing, no matter how costly it seems at the time, always pays dividends.

They should know to accept blame when appropriate, not pass it on.

They should know to live their lives as an example. One day they’ll have kids.

Lastly, you should know for a successful marriage it is important to fall in love again and again — with the same person.

I want to leave you with this last thought. Whatever you do in life, remember to laugh often, love much, learn more and play with purpose.